Get Down Girl, Go 'head Get Down

First I think I'll apologize a little for that last entry...it was a little harsh. So I'm not so much apologizing to Psycho Billy...but to the rest of you for having to read that. :) I'd had a few nights of particularly shitty conversations where Billy decided to call and harass me. But the last time we talked it was pretty amiable...so on the good days, we still feel like good friends. Otherwise, not so much.

Second...I fucking hate work. Actually...I don't so much hate work...I like what I do...I just fucking hate the store they transferred me to. Most of the guys are great...and Joyce is fuckin' amazing...but they have got to be the moodiest bunch of men I've ever fuckin' met. And Jerry--I know you're reading this, but you are the moodiest bitch of all. Some nights you're great and I love working with you...other nights I'd like to smack the absolute shit out of you! Like yesterday...you deserved a bitch-slapping like no other. I don't know why you feel the need to be such a damn hypocrit...but hey...we can't all be saints like you.

Third...my sister has to be the best party partner ever. We went out Saturday night...she is so great. She thought she'd be a champ and drink Jager straight...that ended badly. She did eventually crash on the downstairs couch...from there, my night got a little out of control...here's a quick recap sans details: naked beer pong, some kid pretending to be a BSU footballer (why would anyone want to pretend that?), cold peanut butter, some girl named Carrie, Hal in a bathrobe, Andy pissing in the sink, that poor kid who looked a lot like my cousin getting buried under the packing peanuts, and that guy with the long hair whose name I cannot for the life of me remember...damn.

Crystal Fuckin' Clear

Ok...it's seriously time to get some shit straight. This entry is mostly for the benefit of Psycho Billy...since I know he likes to play stalker and know what's goin' on in my life and he reads this whenever he gets a chance....maybe it's time for Billy to move on with his life?

I don't know how difficult it is to grasp the concept that I simply don't love you anymore. I haven't loved you for about a year now...this last year has been a waste of my life as far as you're concerned. Yes...New Castle was a convenient situation, but no that wasn't the only reason I moved up there. I was sort of hoping things would fix themselves...they didn't because you're a lazy fuck and couldn't seem to help with the house until it was too damn late. You accuse me of using you...no. It just conveniently worked out that you took care of me financially...thanks for that. But sometimes things just don't work out. You are a fuckin' redneck and always will be. Your greatest ambition in life is to farm and have some woman to pop out six of your little redneck children...sorry dick, it ain't gonna be me. You really are pretty much worthless...and it serves me no purpose to keep you in my life right. Leaving you was the best thing I ever did for myself and I never will regret it...no matter how much you hope that I do have regrets later in life. The only regret will be that I stayed with you for so long. You seem to have such a hard time understanding that I am out, dating, having a fuckin' awesome time. I let you ruin my first two years of college because you wouldn't let me go out and do anything...worst decision ever.

And here's another point I'd like to clarify for you..since you were obviously too drunk (big surprise there) to understand logic the other night (not that logic ever worked your simple little mind). John is a great guy...yeah he works at Midas right now. He's going to school for pharmacology and business. You just kept repeating the other night that you couldn't understand how a mechanic was better than you...for some reason you couldn't comprehend that he's a student...just like I work at Auto Zone, but am going to school at the same time. You, on the other hand, didn't even graduate high school. It really doesn't take a genius (which clearly you are not) to put two and two together and realize why any sane woman would choose him over you.

I sort of feel like this entry is oozing with disdain...probably. But it's pretty damn accurate...

Tattoo!!

I finally bit the bullet...went and got a tattoo last night. i can't believe I didn't chicken shit out...but I actually went and did it. I've wanted one for two or three years...but never had the money/was too scared. Finally the perfect opportunity presented itself...andi had to do it. It's pretty fuckin' sweet...and it really didn't hurt. The guy was awesome...a little strange :) ... but really awesome (and Candi and I both loved the fact that he was at Sturgis this summer...very much love for that). So(and here's my little plug) if any of you are thinking about getting a tattoo or know someone who is...get in touch with me...especially if you're a BSU student or if you're wantin' something on your arms or legs...you could almost definitely get a sweet deal on it.

Other than that...things have been relatively uneventful...and I can't mention much about the actual exciting events...for fear of gettin' myself in trouble. :)

Must Be A Full Moon

Damn...what the fuck is goin' on tonight? People are bein' fuckin' psychos all of a sudden. I really hadn't intended to update tonight because I've got a ton of stuff I should be studying for. But after a night like tonight...I have to unwind.

I guess I should start with work. Apparently a lot of Muncie's residents have missed the memo that the year is 2005 and we do actually allow women to work outside the home now. We no longer force them to remain barefoot and pregnant bakin' pies in the kitchen with a woodstove. And God forbid we allow them to work with car parts...they don't have any balls swingin' between those feminine legs so clearly they aren't able to operate the computer well enough to find parts for greasy slack-jawed yokels. I actually got a call tonight from some dipshit who wanted me to check on a part for him...so I go retrieve the part, return to the phone, ask "Ok, now what did you need to know?" He ACTUALLY ASKED ME: "Do you have it out of the box?" Naturally I responded: "No I thought I'd just look at it through the box like Superman." What the fuck else was I supposed to do? My x-ray vision was apparently failing me this evening.

Kevin also called me this evening. What the fuck? I don't even have the energy to describe that whole situation...I'm not sure how someone can still be so in love with me after so long and after so much bullshit. It just isn't natural...I thought I'd have the energy to vent a little more on that whole issue...but not so much.

"Damn it feels good to be a gangsta." "If I was a gangsta...I'd have a tattoo and a gold tooth...and they'd call me K-money." Nate---I needed that...thanks.

Lucky Lady Liberty

We have a new addition to the our petting zoon...her name is Lucky Lady Liberty--Libby for short. She is adorable...she's only about six weeks old and has had a rough little life. Kassity rescued her from the middle of the road yesterday after the poor thing fell out from under a car. She rushed her to the vet, they stitched her up and she's found a new home in the corner of our bathroom until she gets better...I'm sure she has a permanent home here though, we've both fallen in love with her. I think maybe we'll get a goat next and just keep him in the basement...

Other than that...my day today consisted of bandaging a pretend wound on a piece of foam...and inserting catheters into the rubber vagina....yay for nursing!!!

Way Way Way Out of Control

Well...somehow, I got a bloody nose...buuut...I did wake up with all my clothes pretty much still on...all in all...a good night...I'll post more later when my head stops spinning and I don't have to get showered for fucking work...


****************************************************************************************************
Little disclaimer: I've been drinking again, so maybe my logic is a little fuckered right now...

Ok...well work sucked...the longest four hours of my life...absolutely dreadful. I look like someone punched me in both eyes...I'm pretty sure that I didn't actually get to sleep til about 6 or 6:30...and I had to be at work by 10...very not cool. I'm not really up for sharing details...but it was a very very good night. Kassity and I might not be allowed to play together anymore...she introduced me to too many new people...yes for that. I get myself into too much trouble with so many good lookin' men...haha...nah...it's cool. Good times...good times. Muncie is ruling my world...Kassity is ruling my world...guy from Valpo--definitely rocking my fuckin' world...that poor freshman kid with the girlfriend probably could've ruled my world (sorry dude)...here's a brief chronological:

8:30 Phi Sig Rockfest
9:30 Taco Hell
10:00 The House
10:30 Drama
10:30 Drama
10:30 More drama
10:30 that one guy's house
10:30 beer
10:30 bathroom
10:30 beer
10:30 bathroom
10:30 beer
10:30 I realize that my fucking watch is dead and it's really 12:30
12:30 I reset my watch to read 12:30...then forgot that I reset my watch
12:30 I wonder why it isn't getting later yet
12:30 beer and bathroom
12:30 Drunk Dial Little Sister
12:30 Beer Pong...lose horribly
12:30 Poor freshman kid
5:00 AM I wander upstairs to watch the news
6ish I finally pass out

All the other details are more than a little fuzzy but they involve some quality time on a hideabed and sleepin' on a futon...and that's all I have to say about that.

Fuckin' Diet Pepsi

Well...I had every intention of posting my own answers to the questions I left last night. BUT...as I was getting ready to sign in to my site...I SPILLED FUCKIN DIET PEPSI ALL OVER MY COMPUTER! Some might say that I shouldn't have had the pop near the computer anyway...but you know we all do it. I feel like I live at my desk...so if I didn't eat or drink here...I probably wouldn't eat or drink at all. But...I got it all cleaned up...luckily the keys pop off easily and I avoided a complete crisis. Although the space bar was a real bitch to put back on.

In addition...I haven't studied at all tomorrow and I have a competency and a quiz tomorrow...dammit. I have to bathe my lab partner and make the bed...I think I should be ok...I hope.




Ohhhh...and by the way...he's a pharmacology major/business minor. So the joke's on you kids when you call him "Midas Man"...he'll be making more than all you lazy fucks combined...so laugh it up assholes...keep diggin' graves, scoopin' shit, and carrying shingles...some of us are out to get real jobs... :)


Haha...that felt pretty good...

The Meaning of LIfe

**Why exactly are you here?

**What is your life's passion?

**What is it that you truly love?

**What were you put on this earth to do?

Dirty Dancing

Yeah...it's true...Dirty Dancing might be the best movie ever made. Now I know some of you won't agree...but it was just on VH1...and I'm gonna have to say that it really is the best. The end always makes me wanna cry though...#1 cuz I wish I had a cool dress like Jennifer Grey...#2 because I wish I could dance like that...and #3 because I wish Patrick Swayze would dance like that with me every night. Oh and #4 because it makes me want to go out dancing...and there isn't really anywhere to go do that right now.

On an unrelated note...I feel the need to do a little venting tonight. I don't want to use his real name...so I'll call this gentleman Chaz. Any of you who know the story will know who I'm talking about, but anyone who doesn't really has no need to know who I'm talking about. But I'm having one of those reflective nights and feel the need for a little therapy. The background behind all this is pretty simple. Chaz had a girlfriend, but he and I ended up gettin' together...a few times. Then he proposed to her...we still saw each other a couple more times...then he developed a guilty conscience and we parted ways on pretty good terms. I understand why he had to do it...and I can't fault him for that at all. It's fine...then about a week ago...he calls me out of the blue. Says he was just thinkin' about me and wanted to talk. That's great...I was really really excited to talk to him. In the course of the conversation...he tells me that he and his fiance are having problems and he doesn't know what to do. I fought the urge to give advice, because I knew it would be pretty biased. Nonetheless the conversation turned to us...he finally admitted that he has feelings for me and always has. I feel the same way and could see myself easily falling for him. The girl he's with is a heinous bitch and everyone knows it...although that really isn't my call to make. It was wrong for us to get together in the first place...but he wouldn't be the first guy that's cheated on his girl with me. (I know...it's awful, but shit happens). Maybe I just don't have a conscience...maybe I'm too impulsive...hell maybe I'm just a ho...:) Haha...but no, seriously...(and here's where I start throwing some of my nursing assessment skills out here)...I think maybe I'm just a very present-oriented person. I have no idea what the future is gonna hold or whether there will even be a future. I have no idea if an afterlife exists...and I know that nothing can be done to change the past. So I guess I just want to enjoy life as it comes. If that means hurting other people...well I feel bad, but you'll never be able to make everyone happy...so you might as well make yourself happy.

Bleh....

I won't lie...I'm pretty bored right now. And I'm too lazy to go get a beer...so I'm sitting here staring at the wall. I should probably be thinking about going to bed, but I definitely took a helluva nap between 3-8...oops. So I'm pretty sure that getting to sleep is not gonna be so easy tonight. Dammit...and I have to work in the morning.

I really just don't like having a job...I feel bad about asking my parents for money, so I have to work...but working sucks. I have no life anymore...between a shit-ton of reading, trying to sleep at "normal" hours, and working...I think I've forgotten what free time used to consist of. When I do have "free time"...it's because I'm forcing myself to avoid doing something else for the sake of sanity. Don't get me wrong...I love my major and the stuff we're doing is pretty interesting...it's just time consuming. One of these days I guess it'll all be worth it.

To summarize other stuff going on: a certain someone discovered this weekend (and it wasn't me!) that Jim Beam and power tools DO NOT mix...she learned what a split lip and a chunk out of your nose feels like; a special someone in the fucking National Guard got activated to go to God-forsaken Mississippi (I kinda hate knowing that he's that far away); the doctor decided that the reason I haven't been able to breathe is because I fucking have asthma (splendid...but I feel like maybe someone should've noticed that a little earlier in life); I'm giving up on dating...I appear to have a thing for losers and liars and lazy fucks; and I think that's about it.

Today I met Jesus...

and he drove a white PowerStroke. He was driving down I-74 and he caught my eye. He was a handsome young man...and he apparently caught me checkin him out as I passed out. Oops. Long story short...he drove beside me for a while and wanted me to stop so he could give me his number. Finally I got to the 'burg's exit...and he followed me. He comes around to my truck as I stop at the gas station and gives me number. Too damn weird...and THEN...he gave me a kiss on the cheek and away he went.

So apparently...Jesus speaks Spanish and picks up women on the interstate....